Let's be honest about something: men are not okay.
We're four times more likely to die by suicide than women. We're less likely to seek help for mental health issues. And when asked how we're doing, most of us default to "fine"—even when we're drowning.
This isn't about being weak or strong. It's about being honest about a crisis that's hiding in plain sight.
The Silent Struggle
Most men experience mental health challenges at some point. Depression, anxiety, burnout, anger, numbness—these aren't rare. They're common.
But we don't talk about them. Why?
"Man up" culture. We were taught that struggling is shameful. That real men push through. That emotions are for other people.
Lack of language. Many men literally don't have the vocabulary to describe what they're feeling. We weren't taught to identify or express emotions.
Fear of judgment. We worry that admitting we're struggling will change how others see us—as weak, unreliable, broken.
Problem-solving orientation. We want to fix things quickly. Mental health rarely works that way.
So we suffer in silence. We numb with alcohol, work, screens, or isolation. We tell everyone we're fine. We pretend until we can't anymore.
Warning Signs to Watch For
Mental health struggles don't always look like crying in the corner. For men, they often show up as:
- Irritability and anger — Snapping at people, short fuse
- Physical symptoms — Headaches, stomach issues, chronic pain
- Withdrawal — Pulling back from relationships and activities
- Numbing behaviors — Drinking, gaming, overworking, scrolling
- Sleep problems — Can't fall asleep, can't stay asleep, sleeping too much
- Loss of interest — Things that used to matter don't anymore
- Risky behavior — Driving fast, picking fights, substance use
- Fatigue — Exhausted even after rest
If you're experiencing several of these, it's not because you're weak. It's because something needs attention.
What Actually Helps
1. Break the Silence
The most powerful step is also the hardest: tell someone.
Not everyone. One person. Someone you trust. Say: "I'm struggling and I don't know why."
You don't need to have it figured out. You just need to stop pretending.
2. Move Your Body
Exercise isn't a cure-all, but it's close. Research consistently shows that regular physical activity:
- Reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety
- Improves sleep
- Increases energy
- Provides healthy stress release
Start small. A 20-minute walk counts. The goal is consistency, not intensity.
3. Limit the Numbing
Alcohol, endless scrolling, gaming until 2am—these feel like relief but actually make things worse.
Notice what you're using to avoid feeling. Then try, even once, to sit with the discomfort instead. It won't kill you. It might actually help.
4. Build Connection
Isolation feeds mental health struggles. Connection heals them.
This doesn't mean you need to share your deepest fears with everyone. It means:
- Regular contact with people who care about you
- At least one relationship where you can be honest
- Community involvement of some kind
We're wired for connection. When we don't have it, we suffer.
5. Consider Professional Help
Therapy isn't just for people in crisis. It's a tool for understanding yourself better and developing coping strategies.
Finding the right therapist takes trial and error. If the first one doesn't click, try another. Many therapists now offer virtual sessions, making it easier than ever.
If cost is a barrier, look into:
- Sliding scale therapists
- Community mental health centers
- Employee assistance programs (EAP)
- Online therapy platforms
6. Check the Basics
Mental health is connected to physical health. Make sure you're:
- Sleeping 7-9 hours
- Eating regular meals
- Limiting alcohol and caffeine
- Getting outside daily
- Staying hydrated
These aren't replacements for deeper work, but neglecting them makes everything harder.
When to Get Help Now
If you're experiencing:
- Thoughts of suicide or self-harm
- Inability to function at work or home
- Severe panic attacks
- Psychotic symptoms
- Substance abuse that's out of control
Don't wait. Reach out to a mental health professional, call a crisis line, or go to an emergency room.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
You're Not Alone
Here's what I want you to know: whatever you're feeling, other men have felt it too. You're not broken. You're not weak. You're human.
Mental health isn't about having everything figured out. It's about being honest about where you are and taking steps—even small ones—toward where you want to be.
The first step is admitting you need support. The second is reaching out to get it.
You've got this. And you don't have to do it alone.
Looking for a community of men who get it? Join EVRYMAN and find your crew.
